Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
