I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Randomize
