Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
