The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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