He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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