I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize
