I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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