how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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