and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
