I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize
