I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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