my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
