I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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