I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
