its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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