sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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