More tranny stories later!
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
