all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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