My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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