This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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