If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Randomize
