I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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