sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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