can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
