you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Randomize
