I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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