Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
