The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
This baby is an asshole
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize