Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
