My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
did i walk over a car last night?
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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