Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
