He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
