I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
