i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Randomize
