She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize