I can text with my tongue
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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