My nipple is on Facebook.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
She's the barista slut.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize