I never want to see another naked old woman again.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Randomize
