he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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