Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
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