where does the pee come out of this thing
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
