Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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