Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
