come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
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