Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
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