I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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