the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
My penis needs a shock collar
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
