your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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