I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
