Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize