I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize