you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
