I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
