what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I could fuck to npr.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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