we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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