you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Randomize
