At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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