You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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