Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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