I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
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