Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
and you said cock pushups were impossible
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
How does one acquire holy water?
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize
