this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize