I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
