I'm drive I can fine osifer
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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